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alternate realities
Nov. 6th, 2019 07:28 amIn my dreams last night, I had a daughter. Her name was Claudia Poe. My ex from Texas who had a vasectomy was the father. The whole thing was totally weird. In the dream, I was trying to explain this even though we-hadn't seen each other in many years. And she wasn't a baby but a 2 year old that sort of came out of nowhere. Nobody in the dream believed me LOL
What would it be like to have friends that actually understood the concept of friendships???
Sure, they can call e randomly once a month when they need to vent or want to brag about something but this idea that you can just pick up where you left off isn't true. Stupid facebook memes that portray it as something that doesn't require any effort aren't true.
A never wants to talk, only text. She usually only reaches out when she needs some money from the loan she gave me a year ago. Which is fair and I always pay her BUT... at this point in life I am so tired of staring at a screen. I want actual conversations.
S calls me, but she usually spends the first 30 minutes bragging about her bakery that by the time I want to talk about my life, she has to hang up. And then it makes it awkward to discuss what's going on with me,because it seems so trivial compared to owning your own business.
There are few local goths that I have made casual friendships with but then of course, it is always an issue of me living so far away fro everything. An hour and 15 minutes doesn't seem like a big deal when you have a car.
Would I feel as frustrated if I lived in a place that was more suited to me? One that had public transit and a scene that I enjoyed? Or are thee feelings that are just naturally my personality and will stay this way no matter what I do to change my life on the outside??
No, no. I refuse to believe that. I need to remind myself that when I lived in Chicago I was doing really well for myself. Had my coven. Was kicking ass in school.
Anyway, I had a brutally honest conversation with my bf last night.
I straight up told him that I am not happy in Crystal Lake. I only ended up here by circumstance, not by choice. Told him that I don't see myself living out the rest of my life here and that I want to move next year.
Not sure what this means for the relationship, but I'm facing the truth about a lot of thing lately. It's uncomfortable but I know things will never change if I don't speak my truth.
What would it be like to have friends that actually understood the concept of friendships???
Sure, they can call e randomly once a month when they need to vent or want to brag about something but this idea that you can just pick up where you left off isn't true. Stupid facebook memes that portray it as something that doesn't require any effort aren't true.
A never wants to talk, only text. She usually only reaches out when she needs some money from the loan she gave me a year ago. Which is fair and I always pay her BUT... at this point in life I am so tired of staring at a screen. I want actual conversations.
S calls me, but she usually spends the first 30 minutes bragging about her bakery that by the time I want to talk about my life, she has to hang up. And then it makes it awkward to discuss what's going on with me,because it seems so trivial compared to owning your own business.
There are few local goths that I have made casual friendships with but then of course, it is always an issue of me living so far away fro everything. An hour and 15 minutes doesn't seem like a big deal when you have a car.
Would I feel as frustrated if I lived in a place that was more suited to me? One that had public transit and a scene that I enjoyed? Or are thee feelings that are just naturally my personality and will stay this way no matter what I do to change my life on the outside??
No, no. I refuse to believe that. I need to remind myself that when I lived in Chicago I was doing really well for myself. Had my coven. Was kicking ass in school.
Anyway, I had a brutally honest conversation with my bf last night.
I straight up told him that I am not happy in Crystal Lake. I only ended up here by circumstance, not by choice. Told him that I don't see myself living out the rest of my life here and that I want to move next year.
Not sure what this means for the relationship, but I'm facing the truth about a lot of thing lately. It's uncomfortable but I know things will never change if I don't speak my truth.