![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
had a really bad day at work on saturday. this person was yelling at me even though she was wrong. she had the typical snotty suburban white lady with an SUV and fake nails attitude.
of course i was trying to help her and she just kept shouting "you aren't listening to me" and just generally treating me as if i am a moron who doesn't know how to do my job.
of course, when she realizes that she was wrong, she doesn't even bother to apologize for being so rude.
then it got worse from there.
anyway, sunday was my day off and I honestly feel like I have some sort of customer service trauma or PTSD or something.
repeated interactions with these fucking monsters are emotionally draining and taking a toll on me physically. it took several hours to feel calm and not keep thinking about what happened.
I was so exhausted that I spent the majority of the day in bed and hiding in my room, rather than going to the grocery or visiting my sister. she was trying to guilt me into coming over for Easter (as if I give a fuck about that holiday).
my boyfriend asked me "do you think you are too sensitive?" i'm sure he didn't mean to be rude, i know he cares but the fact is that i am a sensitive person and i was abused alot in my past and yeah, when people start yelling at me or these men try to throw their card on the counter and get aggressive with their tone and body language, i think my body and mind DO respond to those actions as a threat.
I AM probably too sensitive to be working with the general public at this point.
my time as a tech on the MHU made me realize that I have a lot of emotional problems that never got dealt with.
i thought i was just sort of skating along and "turned out ok" but when I look around and comparing myself to my coworkers and other people my age, it is pretty obvious that I am abnormal in many ways.
after getting to know Gomez via text for nearly a year and spending time with him in person, i started to wonder if I was maybe an un-diagnosed aspie. at one point, i asked him if he thought i should try to get a diagnosis. his response was basically a no, because all the resources out there are for kids on the spectrum; adults are basically left to their own devices unless you can somehow qualify for SSDI.
of course, some of my issues could just be from my past abuse and conditioning. or it could be that maybe i am on the spectrum. either way, i have no extra money or insurance that covers for therapy of any kind, so I guess getting to the root of the cause doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.
of course i was trying to help her and she just kept shouting "you aren't listening to me" and just generally treating me as if i am a moron who doesn't know how to do my job.
of course, when she realizes that she was wrong, she doesn't even bother to apologize for being so rude.
then it got worse from there.
anyway, sunday was my day off and I honestly feel like I have some sort of customer service trauma or PTSD or something.
repeated interactions with these fucking monsters are emotionally draining and taking a toll on me physically. it took several hours to feel calm and not keep thinking about what happened.
I was so exhausted that I spent the majority of the day in bed and hiding in my room, rather than going to the grocery or visiting my sister. she was trying to guilt me into coming over for Easter (as if I give a fuck about that holiday).
my boyfriend asked me "do you think you are too sensitive?" i'm sure he didn't mean to be rude, i know he cares but the fact is that i am a sensitive person and i was abused alot in my past and yeah, when people start yelling at me or these men try to throw their card on the counter and get aggressive with their tone and body language, i think my body and mind DO respond to those actions as a threat.
I AM probably too sensitive to be working with the general public at this point.
my time as a tech on the MHU made me realize that I have a lot of emotional problems that never got dealt with.
i thought i was just sort of skating along and "turned out ok" but when I look around and comparing myself to my coworkers and other people my age, it is pretty obvious that I am abnormal in many ways.
after getting to know Gomez via text for nearly a year and spending time with him in person, i started to wonder if I was maybe an un-diagnosed aspie. at one point, i asked him if he thought i should try to get a diagnosis. his response was basically a no, because all the resources out there are for kids on the spectrum; adults are basically left to their own devices unless you can somehow qualify for SSDI.
of course, some of my issues could just be from my past abuse and conditioning. or it could be that maybe i am on the spectrum. either way, i have no extra money or insurance that covers for therapy of any kind, so I guess getting to the root of the cause doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.