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heart to heart
Oct. 9th, 2018 01:15 pmlast night was interesting to say the least.
my "argument" on facebook led to a giant fucking thread on original post. this led to an actual discussion. IN PERSON, over coffee.
He is a local Chicagoan. And also one of my favorite podcasters in the pagan community. I've met him several time at Chicago Pagan Pride.
I told him that I've appreciated what he's done over the years.
I let him know that two f his art pieces hung in my altar space.
I genuinely think he was coming from a well intentioned place, although a bit misguided.
I also let him know that I actually agreed with the original article about white women needed to work on things. Said article was written by a WOC in response to the BKav situation.
My only issue was with HIS comments only.
He apologized to me, said I was right. White men have to right to tell women how to be feminists or what they need to fix. He said that this isn't the first time someone has mentioned that he comes across as self-righteous and has been accused to mansplaining in the past. He said that these criticisms are typically from random reviews or comments left on his blog from readers he has never really interacted with.
This was the first time a long time fan had actually called him on his attitude.
We are both frustrated by the things that have been happening, not only the pagan community but also just in general.
He asked if I could imagine what it would be like to be in fear because I loved someone that the so-called justice system might not approve of.
I said, no of course not.
He talked about how so many people are afraid that their right to gay marriage may be overturned.
We both have white privelege.
He's a man; I'm not.
I'm straight; he's gay.
I'm disabled; he's not.
We both have privilege in different aspects of our lives. I've learned a lot bout some of these topics over the years, mosty from him TBH.
But that doesn't mean that he can't learn from me, just because I don't have a degree in the subject like he does.
I think women are scared, and have been scared for thousand of years.
And men are just now waking up to the horror.
But ya'll have to understand that it may be hard for us to trust your motives, especially when you are critiquing us about not doing enough or being a bad feminist because X.
It comes off as aggressive and demeaning. It's not your place to judge women in a battle they've been fighting before you ever got involved. Just stop and think.
He said he would be more aware of how he presents these issues in the future.
He also told me I sometimes sounded like a TERF when I made comments in the past that defended Z.Budapest and others who are not inclusive in the name of "keeping women's tradition". Yes, I have defended her in the past; some of what he was written was extremely influencial to me when I was young.
However, I'm not 16 anymore and the world has changed.
I had no idea what TERF means, looked it up a little while ago.
UGH
Obviously, I don't want to be that person. Obviously, I have no idea what it's like to be trans. That doesn't mean I hate anyone or want them to feel less than. It's definitely something I need to learn more about.
Overall, I think we both left feeling better about things and it was nice to have an honest conversation in which we both opened up to help us improve our perspectives about the world and the issues at hand.
my "argument" on facebook led to a giant fucking thread on original post. this led to an actual discussion. IN PERSON, over coffee.
He is a local Chicagoan. And also one of my favorite podcasters in the pagan community. I've met him several time at Chicago Pagan Pride.
I told him that I've appreciated what he's done over the years.
I let him know that two f his art pieces hung in my altar space.
I genuinely think he was coming from a well intentioned place, although a bit misguided.
I also let him know that I actually agreed with the original article about white women needed to work on things. Said article was written by a WOC in response to the BKav situation.
My only issue was with HIS comments only.
He apologized to me, said I was right. White men have to right to tell women how to be feminists or what they need to fix. He said that this isn't the first time someone has mentioned that he comes across as self-righteous and has been accused to mansplaining in the past. He said that these criticisms are typically from random reviews or comments left on his blog from readers he has never really interacted with.
This was the first time a long time fan had actually called him on his attitude.
We are both frustrated by the things that have been happening, not only the pagan community but also just in general.
He asked if I could imagine what it would be like to be in fear because I loved someone that the so-called justice system might not approve of.
I said, no of course not.
He talked about how so many people are afraid that their right to gay marriage may be overturned.
We both have white privelege.
He's a man; I'm not.
I'm straight; he's gay.
I'm disabled; he's not.
We both have privilege in different aspects of our lives. I've learned a lot bout some of these topics over the years, mosty from him TBH.
But that doesn't mean that he can't learn from me, just because I don't have a degree in the subject like he does.
I think women are scared, and have been scared for thousand of years.
And men are just now waking up to the horror.
But ya'll have to understand that it may be hard for us to trust your motives, especially when you are critiquing us about not doing enough or being a bad feminist because X.
It comes off as aggressive and demeaning. It's not your place to judge women in a battle they've been fighting before you ever got involved. Just stop and think.
He said he would be more aware of how he presents these issues in the future.
He also told me I sometimes sounded like a TERF when I made comments in the past that defended Z.Budapest and others who are not inclusive in the name of "keeping women's tradition". Yes, I have defended her in the past; some of what he was written was extremely influencial to me when I was young.
However, I'm not 16 anymore and the world has changed.
I had no idea what TERF means, looked it up a little while ago.
UGH
Obviously, I don't want to be that person. Obviously, I have no idea what it's like to be trans. That doesn't mean I hate anyone or want them to feel less than. It's definitely something I need to learn more about.
Overall, I think we both left feeling better about things and it was nice to have an honest conversation in which we both opened up to help us improve our perspectives about the world and the issues at hand.