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it's all in the cards
Jun. 17th, 2018 07:16 amThey say they truth shall set you free. Usually, when you are attempting to free something, there is a bit of struggle or perhaps pain involved. Like dislodging an ingrown toenail LOL
Yesterday was uhhh....interesting.
Met up with my friend Daniel who does the Cemetery Confessions podcast. It was nice to reconnect since I haven't gone to Nocturna in a few months. Looks like we are going to do a game night soon which should be fun :D
It is certainly interesting how the universe usually gives me what I ask for, even if I don't see it at the time. Especially when it comes to insights via the tarot.
Gomez was supposed to come in August to visit, and I was trying to coordinate something with Daniel because since they do the podcast together, I figured G had already told D his plans. G asked me to help him find a hotel room or fun things to do, and I was going to take him for Giordano's after the airport.
Needles to say, I was feeling very hopeful about the trip because I thought maybe we could have some alone time together, and be able to sort out our feelings. A part of me was till hopeful that somehow, he wouldn't let the 5 hour distance keep us from being together.
Even though our discussion have been fun and light lately, something was continually nagging at the corners of my mind.
During our text convo I finally just asked him if he still felt the same way, or if he was basically over it. Did he meet someone else, etc?
Over the past 2 weeks, I got the sense that he was hiding something.
Per usual, my intuition is never wrong (sometimes I'm stupid and choose to ignore it though).
Sure enough, he admitted that he met someone a week or two ago. He claims that the distance was the only issue; he didn't want me to move to his town because it's terrible, etc. Personally, I think that's a bullshit excuse. We talked about him moving here, about both of us wanting to move somewhere else entirely. There were other options.
Anyway, I felt like a giant idiot. Here I was, trying to help him plan his trip and all that. Was he seriously going to just not tell me until we were face to face and something awkward like an attempted flirtation or kiss occurred?!!
Unbelievable.
It's hard for me not to take this personally, even though I know it isn't personal. The second agreement and all that.
On my birthday, I asked for insight into what I needed to work on this year.
Ace of swords, 8 of cups.
Even though I'm feeling hurt, I know that I'm learning what I need to learn at this time.
I deactivated any social media contact I had with him and deleted the nearly year long string of text conversations from my phone. I'm not blocking him but I also see no need to torture myself and keep revisiting the past, or feeling like shit when he eventually posts pics of him and his gf on IG.
I am proud of myself for just being direct and getting the clarity needed to deal with the reality of the situation. I am getting better at using my words to have clear and concise communication. You can't rely on other people to voluntarily give you the truth, and you can't make assumptions.
Had terrible dream of several exes that I cared about dying in a house fire. It was horrible, woke up in a panic. I guess my mind was still working shit out LOL
Yesterday was uhhh....interesting.
Met up with my friend Daniel who does the Cemetery Confessions podcast. It was nice to reconnect since I haven't gone to Nocturna in a few months. Looks like we are going to do a game night soon which should be fun :D
It is certainly interesting how the universe usually gives me what I ask for, even if I don't see it at the time. Especially when it comes to insights via the tarot.
Gomez was supposed to come in August to visit, and I was trying to coordinate something with Daniel because since they do the podcast together, I figured G had already told D his plans. G asked me to help him find a hotel room or fun things to do, and I was going to take him for Giordano's after the airport.
Needles to say, I was feeling very hopeful about the trip because I thought maybe we could have some alone time together, and be able to sort out our feelings. A part of me was till hopeful that somehow, he wouldn't let the 5 hour distance keep us from being together.
Even though our discussion have been fun and light lately, something was continually nagging at the corners of my mind.
During our text convo I finally just asked him if he still felt the same way, or if he was basically over it. Did he meet someone else, etc?
Over the past 2 weeks, I got the sense that he was hiding something.
Per usual, my intuition is never wrong (sometimes I'm stupid and choose to ignore it though).
Sure enough, he admitted that he met someone a week or two ago. He claims that the distance was the only issue; he didn't want me to move to his town because it's terrible, etc. Personally, I think that's a bullshit excuse. We talked about him moving here, about both of us wanting to move somewhere else entirely. There were other options.
Anyway, I felt like a giant idiot. Here I was, trying to help him plan his trip and all that. Was he seriously going to just not tell me until we were face to face and something awkward like an attempted flirtation or kiss occurred?!!
Unbelievable.
It's hard for me not to take this personally, even though I know it isn't personal. The second agreement and all that.
On my birthday, I asked for insight into what I needed to work on this year.
Ace of swords, 8 of cups.
Even though I'm feeling hurt, I know that I'm learning what I need to learn at this time.
I deactivated any social media contact I had with him and deleted the nearly year long string of text conversations from my phone. I'm not blocking him but I also see no need to torture myself and keep revisiting the past, or feeling like shit when he eventually posts pics of him and his gf on IG.
I am proud of myself for just being direct and getting the clarity needed to deal with the reality of the situation. I am getting better at using my words to have clear and concise communication. You can't rely on other people to voluntarily give you the truth, and you can't make assumptions.
Had terrible dream of several exes that I cared about dying in a house fire. It was horrible, woke up in a panic. I guess my mind was still working shit out LOL