shadowkitten (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shadowkitten) wrote2019-11-27 05:52 am
shadowkitten) wrote2019-11-27 05:52 am
funny thing is, I've been praying lately...
Over the years, I think most of the people who have knows me probably see me as shy, meek or not confident??
What they don't know is that I used to be the opposite in my tens and 20s...really full of myself, and a hothead. To the point of actually hitting people, starting fights and constantly arguing with anyone who had a position of authority which obviously meant I did not hold down a job very often. As much as I like the tell myself that I am more aware, more calm, I think in my 30s I've been too meek. Too insecure. People think I'm cute (ugh). They don't respect me at all.
Anyway, yesterday I was working by myself.
Keep in mind that my service desk used to have 3 registers, but they took them away this month so we are down to ONE FUCKING REGISTER. FOR THE HOLIDAYS.
So, I'm dealing with a giant problem the line starts getting backed up and the phone is ringing. Another employee see I need help and pages the front end managers. No response. Eventually, I need an override to complete the transaction and I call for an override. Harold, a front end supervisor, comes over does the override, looks at the line and walks away.
At that point, people are pissed.
They can clearly see he is a supervisor and isn't helping. I apologize but obviously can't justify whey he didn't help-they weren't mad at me, they were mad at him. I call again for help, nobody comes. The lady at the front door greeter calls, eventually someone comes over.
I almost quit. I almost left my job yesterday because it's becoming so unbearable. Especially knowing that these people got significant raises in May, yet my workload has tripled and they never help out. We are now responbile for taking cafe pizza orders, photo center, online pickup orders AND taking messages for the tire ept. because they are too busy with putting on snow tires this time of year. The club would go to shit if all us girls at the service desk walked out, but that will never happen. Anyway...
I felt the rage building, and instead of going off on him for not helping, or completely destroying my plans by quitting now, I wrote a very professional email to my manager explaining what happened. He called me and asked for the times so he can watch the video tape.
By no means am I the perfect employee. And I sure don't want to work in a place were people are constantly throwing their coworkers under the bus. HOWEVER< I AM DONE. I'm done being pushed around, ignored or taken advantage of. No longer am I going to not stand up for myself at work.
And later on, I refused to help someone because I knew they were lying and trying to scam us out of $300. She threatened to call my manager. I told her "Absolutely! Give him a call, tell him about our conversation and he would be happy to solve the issue if we can find proof in your membership history that you purchased this item here". Yeah...she won't be calling him anytime soon LOL
Prayers. I've never been the type to do such a thing but for whatever reason, I felt guided to do so the past week or two.
Help me fight the battle that is my workplace.I can't let my need for a paycheck destroy who I am outside of work.
After the incense is lit and I clear my mind I pray for a good day, an easy day, even just for a day that doesn't leave me feeling traumatized or riddled with anxiety. I don't want to attract negativity.
A simple retail job should not be this difficult FFS!!!
but instead, I find myself getting my strength back.
I can handle things without exploding. I can handle things without just sinking into anxiety and feeling overwhelmed.
I would never say that I don't care if people like me, but I don't care enough to sacrifice my own self respect.
My Gods will no longer allow it.
What they don't know is that I used to be the opposite in my tens and 20s...really full of myself, and a hothead. To the point of actually hitting people, starting fights and constantly arguing with anyone who had a position of authority which obviously meant I did not hold down a job very often. As much as I like the tell myself that I am more aware, more calm, I think in my 30s I've been too meek. Too insecure. People think I'm cute (ugh). They don't respect me at all.
Anyway, yesterday I was working by myself.
Keep in mind that my service desk used to have 3 registers, but they took them away this month so we are down to ONE FUCKING REGISTER. FOR THE HOLIDAYS.
So, I'm dealing with a giant problem the line starts getting backed up and the phone is ringing. Another employee see I need help and pages the front end managers. No response. Eventually, I need an override to complete the transaction and I call for an override. Harold, a front end supervisor, comes over does the override, looks at the line and walks away.
At that point, people are pissed.
They can clearly see he is a supervisor and isn't helping. I apologize but obviously can't justify whey he didn't help-they weren't mad at me, they were mad at him. I call again for help, nobody comes. The lady at the front door greeter calls, eventually someone comes over.
I almost quit. I almost left my job yesterday because it's becoming so unbearable. Especially knowing that these people got significant raises in May, yet my workload has tripled and they never help out. We are now responbile for taking cafe pizza orders, photo center, online pickup orders AND taking messages for the tire ept. because they are too busy with putting on snow tires this time of year. The club would go to shit if all us girls at the service desk walked out, but that will never happen. Anyway...
I felt the rage building, and instead of going off on him for not helping, or completely destroying my plans by quitting now, I wrote a very professional email to my manager explaining what happened. He called me and asked for the times so he can watch the video tape.
By no means am I the perfect employee. And I sure don't want to work in a place were people are constantly throwing their coworkers under the bus. HOWEVER< I AM DONE. I'm done being pushed around, ignored or taken advantage of. No longer am I going to not stand up for myself at work.
And later on, I refused to help someone because I knew they were lying and trying to scam us out of $300. She threatened to call my manager. I told her "Absolutely! Give him a call, tell him about our conversation and he would be happy to solve the issue if we can find proof in your membership history that you purchased this item here". Yeah...she won't be calling him anytime soon LOL
Prayers. I've never been the type to do such a thing but for whatever reason, I felt guided to do so the past week or two.
Help me fight the battle that is my workplace.I can't let my need for a paycheck destroy who I am outside of work.
After the incense is lit and I clear my mind I pray for a good day, an easy day, even just for a day that doesn't leave me feeling traumatized or riddled with anxiety. I don't want to attract negativity.
A simple retail job should not be this difficult FFS!!!
but instead, I find myself getting my strength back.
I can handle things without exploding. I can handle things without just sinking into anxiety and feeling overwhelmed.
I would never say that I don't care if people like me, but I don't care enough to sacrifice my own self respect.
My Gods will no longer allow it.