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Finally purchased a cheap ass bookshelf, broke it down into two pieces and now have a nice space on my side of the bedroom to store most of my books and trinkets. Still need to retrieve the rest of my stuff from my sisters house. Someday. Got rid of my witchcraft books that frankly, had nothing to offer me after all these years. Some recipes were copied an the books passed along. At this point on my path, I've committed to not buying any more books unless it is something very specific that I want to learn more about in depth.
Went through my closet, got rid of a few things that no longer fit or maybe I bought them out of desperation and it turns out they didn't look so good after all. Next paycheck, I told myself that I am going shopping, I hate trying on clothes but NO EXCUSES. Need to buy at least 2 outfits that fit me right now and don't compromise on my personal style. Thankfully, fall is a good time for fashion and there are lots of choices for dark colors and velvet, lace, etc.
I've made friends with a babybat and am sending her two pairs of boots, a few dresses and some accessories that just really aren't my style anymore. She's a nice girl and I wish someone older would have been my fashion fairy gothmother at that age <3
It is really starting to feel like I am much better at deciding what I value, what is really important to me, what works best for me the older I get. I can determine what isn't going to work or is beyond my scope without feeling bad or insecure about it. That's huge for me, because I've always felt like no matter what I did it was not quite right or lacking something that everyone else seemed to have.
For example, when it comes to makeup some people like a huge collection with lots of color choices. For me? Its just clutter that will never get used either because the color doesn't look good on me or it require some sort of artistic skill or good vision which I lack (damn you, loose glittr pigments!!)I've pared it down to less than 20 items and I'm not allowed to buy anything new until I've fully used up a different product.
The other day, I realized just how much I missed my record collection. It was a rainy night, had the sliding glass window open and was indulging in a glass of wine. It occurred to me that it would have been the perfect evening to listen to something like Black Celebration or Disintegration on vinyl. You know, the ones that are really good all the way through :D
For some reason, I was feeling guilty like I somehow don't deserve to have things? I guess it is the fear that the relationship won't work out and I'll have to move all my crap and start over again? Which could very well happen. On the other hand, music is really important to me and is something that I consider to be a vital part of life. Sometimes, I feel like the majority of people are casual music listeners once they get past their teenage years.
Anyway, I've decided to allow myself to get back into it but only buy the stuff that I really love and consider essential listening on vinyl. I gave myself a limit of no more than $50 a month, and was able to get Bloodletting and The Mask and Mirror for about $15 each so I can get one more before the month is over. Its so easy to go down the rabbit hole with vinyl and the next thing you know you've spend $300 on ebay LOL
It really feels like things are starting to come together internally for me and it is reflecting in my outside world.
For some many years, I felt very scattered and didn't know how to make myself a whole person and sort out what didn't work for me. Let go of a previous version of myself, or what I wanted to be and all the items that came along with it. I dunno. Something like that.
Went through my closet, got rid of a few things that no longer fit or maybe I bought them out of desperation and it turns out they didn't look so good after all. Next paycheck, I told myself that I am going shopping, I hate trying on clothes but NO EXCUSES. Need to buy at least 2 outfits that fit me right now and don't compromise on my personal style. Thankfully, fall is a good time for fashion and there are lots of choices for dark colors and velvet, lace, etc.
I've made friends with a babybat and am sending her two pairs of boots, a few dresses and some accessories that just really aren't my style anymore. She's a nice girl and I wish someone older would have been my fashion fairy gothmother at that age <3
It is really starting to feel like I am much better at deciding what I value, what is really important to me, what works best for me the older I get. I can determine what isn't going to work or is beyond my scope without feeling bad or insecure about it. That's huge for me, because I've always felt like no matter what I did it was not quite right or lacking something that everyone else seemed to have.
For example, when it comes to makeup some people like a huge collection with lots of color choices. For me? Its just clutter that will never get used either because the color doesn't look good on me or it require some sort of artistic skill or good vision which I lack (damn you, loose glittr pigments!!)I've pared it down to less than 20 items and I'm not allowed to buy anything new until I've fully used up a different product.
The other day, I realized just how much I missed my record collection. It was a rainy night, had the sliding glass window open and was indulging in a glass of wine. It occurred to me that it would have been the perfect evening to listen to something like Black Celebration or Disintegration on vinyl. You know, the ones that are really good all the way through :D
For some reason, I was feeling guilty like I somehow don't deserve to have things? I guess it is the fear that the relationship won't work out and I'll have to move all my crap and start over again? Which could very well happen. On the other hand, music is really important to me and is something that I consider to be a vital part of life. Sometimes, I feel like the majority of people are casual music listeners once they get past their teenage years.
Anyway, I've decided to allow myself to get back into it but only buy the stuff that I really love and consider essential listening on vinyl. I gave myself a limit of no more than $50 a month, and was able to get Bloodletting and The Mask and Mirror for about $15 each so I can get one more before the month is over. Its so easy to go down the rabbit hole with vinyl and the next thing you know you've spend $300 on ebay LOL
It really feels like things are starting to come together internally for me and it is reflecting in my outside world.
For some many years, I felt very scattered and didn't know how to make myself a whole person and sort out what didn't work for me. Let go of a previous version of myself, or what I wanted to be and all the items that came along with it. I dunno. Something like that.